Serenity Series Part II

Serenity Series Part II: Things I Cannot Change

Part II of the Serenity Series focuses on the things that we cannot change, and finding a way to still take control of, and recognize what we can do during those difficult times to keep on keeping on!

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18

I have been able to reflect recently on the importance of happiness. It has been a topic of conversation because happiness is similar to love, everyone wants. The interesting thing about happiness is no one really knows how to get happy. Expressing love is learned behavior but how do you express happiness?

I never considered a person happy if they smiled a lot, or even if you never saw them sad, there are people who are hurting internally, there is a reason why suicide rates are so high. The saddest thing is coming across articles where children are killing themselves. Happiness used to be measured by fulfillment, people seemed as though they were not completely fulfilled in life but can an eight-year-old feel a sense of not being fulfilled in life?

So what is happiness? I know one thing that we all deserve to be happy, and I learned the greatest thing you can gain is control. I know the word control has been seen as a bad word for years, and as a black Hispanic woman, you don’t ever want to be seen as controlling. But this is what I have learned about happiness and control. You cannot control what happens to you but you can control how you respond to the things that happen in your life. I know you have probably heard it before but once I placed it into practice my life changed. control

The first thing is emotions, for me controlling my emotions was the greatest thing that I did. For a period of time, I had no emotions whatsoever. I felt completely numb and learning to control my emotions came by learning to feel emotions again. But what I realized was that I had spent a lot of time allowing others to control my emotions in turn controlling my happiness. If someone made me mad, I felt unhappy. If someone put me down, it would change my mood and affect me from taking in the joy of the day.

Once I realized that I decided that someone may ruin a minute or an hour of my day but they were not allowed to ruin my entire day. If I decided to work even harder at identifying when people were attempting to ruin my day, or if I was allowing for opportunities for someone to change my mood of the day, then I wouldn’t bother giving them the power to change my perception of the day. If I believed that today was going to be a good day, then I would see that day through no matter what.

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens

Ecclesiates 3:1

These are the things that I know I can control, how I respond to the changes that happen in my life. After experiencing loss, my sister said to me there are two things that are definite and that is that we live and we die, and with these things, we get to choose how we respond to everything in between. We can live a life in fear, or live a limited life knowing that someday the time will come when we will die; or we can live a full life, with no limits knowing this same fate. The question is what would you rather be wondering when the day comes that you did not get to do enough in your life, or that you lived your life fulfilled and took every opportunity to live a life fulfilled.

control2

24 thoughts on “Serenity Series Part II

  1. Such wisdom in this post! Thank you for sharing your perspective. I agree, happiness is often a choice. It’s choosing to respond to challenges with optimism, patience and humility. We can get through it!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is such a nice post and I feel sorry for your loss. I think we still need to choose to be happy even if we encounter so much troubles in life. We are definitely experiencing different troubles or struggles in every day of our lives but we need to try to face it in a very positive way. Our mission in this life is not to be the saddest person in this earth but the happiest person being like that we can be a good example to others.

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  3. This too shall pass – that’s what I constantly tell myself whenever something bad happens in my life. I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason, and God would never give me something that would be too much for me to bear. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It can be difficult to surrender the idea of control and it’s still something I struggle with on a daily basis. This is a great read, thank you so much for sharing. x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This was an interesting read indeed. This too shall pass is a affirmation that everyone can relate to I think to help through things that are out of our control.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Lovely post. While I agree that we have a lot of say over our emotions, there really are some times where just choosing to be happy instead of upset is easier said than done. As much as I would love to say, ‘that doesn’t bother me, I’m choosing to be happy’ …more often than not, it just doesn’t work that way for me. It’s definitely always good to remember though, that sadness will eventually pass. Thank you for your wisdom!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I loved this post. For years now due to health related problems I have pretty much given up. I lye in my bed wondering why and what might have been if I had done things differently but, I don’t think life has to be this way. I love the different posts I’ve read in the past 6 months that are inspiring me to be positive. I believe God wants us to be happy so it is time to control the way we feel about people and events that happen. Certain things such as grief won’t be able to be changed much but any bit will help.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’ve been saying the serenity prayer a lot lately! Thank you for the sharing! It’s way too easy to get caught up in what we cannot control!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Another post worthy of a series titling Serenity. Finding inner peace is always something that happens after a lot of things that happened. This is why we hope that it can be found sooner than later.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I love the quote from Live Love Happy. I just told my children this exact thing. They are dealing with lot of different people and some have difficult personalities. We can’t control other people’s behavior, but we can control our own.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. It took me some time to realize that there are certain things that you won’t be able to control. But you can definitely control how you react to these challenges. I think it’s a good reminder for us, to allow things to happen because we simply have no control over them, and that doesn’t mean we won’t be able to do anything about it, because we have complete control of ourselves.

    Liked by 1 person

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