Serenity Series Part II: Things I Cannot Change
Part II of the Serenity Series focuses on the things that we cannot change, and finding a way to still take control of, and recognize what we can do during those difficult times to keep on keeping on!
“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
2 Corinthians 4:17-18
I have been able to reflect recently on the importance of happiness. It has been a topic of conversation because happiness is similar to love, everyone wants. The interesting thing about happiness is no one really knows how to get happy. Expressing love is learned behavior but how do you express happiness?
I never considered a person happy if they smiled a lot, or even if you never saw them sad, there are people who are hurting internally, there is a reason why suicide rates are so high. The saddest thing is coming across articles where children are killing themselves. Happiness used to be measured by fulfillment, people seemed as though they were not completely fulfilled in life but can an eight-year-old feel a sense of not being fulfilled in life?
So what is happiness? I know one thing that we all deserve to be happy, and I learned the greatest thing you can gain is control. I know the word control has been seen as a bad word for years, and as a black Hispanic woman, you don’t ever want to be seen as controlling. But this is what I have learned about happiness and control. You cannot control what happens to you but you can control how you respond to the things that happen in your life. I know you have probably heard it before but once I placed it into practice my life changed.
The first thing is emotions, for me controlling my emotions was the greatest thing that I did. For a period of time, I had no emotions whatsoever. I felt completely numb and learning to control my emotions came by learning to feel emotions again. But what I realized was that I had spent a lot of time allowing others to control my emotions in turn controlling my happiness. If someone made me mad, I felt unhappy. If someone put me down, it would change my mood and affect me from taking in the joy of the day.
Once I realized that I decided that someone may ruin a minute or an hour of my day but they were not allowed to ruin my entire day. If I decided to work even harder at identifying when people were attempting to ruin my day, or if I was allowing for opportunities for someone to change my mood of the day, then I wouldn’t bother giving them the power to change my perception of the day. If I believed that today was going to be a good day, then I would see that day through no matter what.
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens
These are the things that I know I can control, how I respond to the changes that happen in my life. After experiencing loss, my sister said to me there are two things that are definite and that is that we live and we die, and with these things, we get to choose how we respond to everything in between. We can live a life in fear, or live a limited life knowing that someday the time will come when we will die; or we can live a full life, with no limits knowing this same fate. The question is what would you rather be wondering when the day comes that you did not get to do enough in your life, or that you lived your life fulfilled and took every opportunity to live a life fulfilled.