Who am I? In my eyes I am not anyone special, I have average skills and abilities, and I have lived an average life. I have travelled a bit and the most interesting thing about me is that I am Hispanic, mainly because I grew up in Columbus, OH where being black and being Hispanic seemed like a foreign thing. So who am I? Why is it worth reading another word or sentence that I am writing?
I have never been awarded for my writing, featured in any local or national newspapers, until now you have probably never heard of me. My mission which I have chosen to accept is self-growth. I do not want to live a life wondering what potential I could have if I were brave enough to do this. I am not unhappy with an average life or average skill set and most reading may think, “well you ought to be!”
I am not unhappy because although I am not the next Beyoncé, or Kim Kardashian or even the next Cardi B. I am on a mission of being more of me. There is peace that comes from accepting yourself as you are, but I am not the type of person. I always strive to be better and for the past two years I have not pushed for anything better. Maybe you can relate maybe you cannot relate but the beginning of this story like many other stories beginning at the end.
As I am now finally writing down the end of my life story which ended just a few hours before this moment it is no surprise to me that I have reached to this point. Am I physically dead? No. Am I mentally dead or to use an accurate Grey’s Anatomy term “brain dead”? No. Am I spiritually dead? Yes. Read my gravestone of all the great things people may say about me but neve
r had the courage to say to my face; “She was lovely, beautiful, and wonderful to be around.” Or how about those words spoken behind closed doors; “she seemed lost, I knew this day would come.”
Aren’t we all lost, aren’t we all wondering through this world trying desperately to, “Figure things out”? Besides the distractions of the media, the government and even politically-religious surroundings keeping you from zeroing in on what is really at stake, your life that you are on the inside.
So today I finally did it, I killed her.
To Be Continued…..