Not For Free

I know I haven’t posted in quite some time and I promised myself I would post at least once a week but it sometimes becomes hard to find a topic to speak on or I haven’t sorted out how I want to word this.

I posted this statement on Facebook which is the beginning of a long-standing conversation that I have been having with myself and others.

“if I do everything for you that a girlfriend or a wife does and I’m still getting introduced as just “Sherry” or “my friend Sherry” then what’s the point? I’m not going to give you all of me or even pieces of me for you to have and then when you’re done hand it back like it isn’t nothing. My nature is to give and a lot of times I find myself giving more than the other person does so if I seem to mean I’m not, I’m just not comfortable giving you things that you did nothing to receive or giving you something I don’t feel like your actions have shown I can give you…like my heart. Like I said what’s the point in making a commitment to someone who is already giving you everything without it? It sounds harsh but I had to get real with the woman in the mirror and you should too! #withmuchlove 😘😘

None of these words are new to me and many people have heard the term “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” However, the reason this has been on my mind because society has somehow shifted to this very point that everyone can simply “try on” or “milk the cow” with no true intention of ever getting into a serious or committed relationship. I found myself asking this question because I have fallen to this very thing myself more than once, and it was not because of my lack of knowledge but even for me it had become easy. Not only easy for me but easy for the people I was dealing with and what came to light more to me was commitment issues.

It is clear that men are not the only ones that have commitment issues. Women can state any reason as to why they have commitment issues but the bottom line is that if you are okay giving of yourself freely without any sight of a real commitment then it is time to check yourself in the mirror, and if you are saying you do not want a commitment then, that’s okay too. However, I feel the need to share this very important fact, you should never give yourself freely to temporary people. Make them earn it, make them come correct. I used to be plagued by the thought of, “if I hold back they will not want me.” Now, I realize I rather hold back then have to look myself in the mirror and realize that I cannot recognize the person looking back at me because I have so much of myself that I hardly have any of me left. There are people in this world that are takers and all they will ever do is take. They cannot help if it is in their nature to take that is it, and all it will ever be for them, but you do not have to be the one to get taken. If you take ownership of you. No one can take what you are not giving out.

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